Loving someone and being in love are 2 different emotions. Loving someone unconditionally doesn't equate to being in love with that person. You love someone unconditionally whether you can or cannot be with them. Being in love is wanting to be with them for life without any agenda.

There’s a difference between someone who likes you and someone who appreciates you.

There’s a difference between someone who thinks you’re convenient and someone who thinks you’re irreplaceable.

There’s a difference between someone who thinks you’re hot and someone who thinks you’re beautiful.

There’s a difference between someone who likes you for your body and someone who likes you for your soul.

There’s a difference between someone who wants to spend quality time with you and someone who’s just looking for someone to entertain or distract them.

There’s a difference between someone who wants to keep you in their life forever and someone who wants you for a little while.

There’s a difference between someone who loves the idea of you and someone who’s in love with you.

There’s a difference between someone who keeps showing what you mean to them effortlessly and someone who shows you only when you ask them to.

There’s a difference between someone you can count on and someone who finds excuses for why they are not being there.

There’s a difference between someone who sees a home in you and someone who only sees a vacation or journey.

They both exist. They both fulfill a certain need, but you have to ask yourself first what you’re truly looking for and where this person is or where this person can meet you.
​
You have to ask yourself if you’re asking for too much or you’re just asking the wrong person.

And most importantly, you have to be honest with yourself if you’re with someone who’s not on the same page. If you’re with someone who doesn’t love you the way you want to be loved. And if you know the answer and you’re afraid to make a decision, you just have to do it because nothing is worse than living a lie. Nothing is worse than trying to find love and happiness in the middle of heartbreak and chaos.
You can never bloom in the wrong environment. You can never shine with someone who doesn’t see your light.

Because it can only be one of two things; there’s no in-between. It’s either the real deal or another fraud.

Cheers,
The Red Ferrari,

Owner of Get the Soulmate and Dump the Rest
Author of Love in the 12th Dimension and Twinflames Reunite.
www.loveinthe12thdimension.com
FB:Get Your Soulmate and Dump the Rest

​“The greatest personal limitation is to be found not in the things you want to do and can't, but in the things you've never considered doing.” Richard Bandler

For those who know I am a profession image and relationship coach, I have some advice for you for in the dating world:
Kittenfishing is so named because it is essentially catfishing but lightly.  Whereas catfishing is the practice of creating an entirely fake person to engage with someone while internet dating, kittenfishing is when an online date-seeker presents a version of themselves that does not come close to lining up with reality. Very old or heavily edited photos lies about height or background and farming out conversations to others are all elements of kittenfishing.  Yes, many accounts online here are not real people folks!  They want something else and they don't have any remorse for what they do either.  

Another fear in the dating world now is being zombied. Most everyone knows that to get ghosted is to have a romantic interest disappear from communication with no explanation as to why. Zombies are when someone who has ghosted you unexpectedly reappears in your life with a the more direct out-of-the-blue text message.  Hmmm, they may yet change into a ghost for you.

While the zombie is usually someone who disappeared from your life after a handful of dates and steady communications, there is the even more dreaded zombie ex. A zombie ex is an ex that you have decided to cut off interactions. You’ve eliminated communication with this person for quite some time and then, like a crawling stinky creature, they appear back in your life.  Unless it is me, they may have unresolved issues left to rehash with you. 

Also known as bread-crumbing, benching is the equivalent of stringing someone along to keep your options open even if you not are currently interested.  Benching is an often coordinated and calculated method of texting that offers an interested party just enough interaction to not upset them but ultimately no substantive back-and-forth or concrete plans.

The slow fade is a sometimes controversial, between benching and ghosting. While it doesn't carry the dropped off the face of the earth shock of ghosting, it has none of the carrot-dangling and hints of interest of benching. The show fade is a deliberate communication fade out.

Cuffing Season: a frenzied relationship version of the sport draft. It is the search for a relationship partner in the autumn-winter months so that you have someone to cuddle up and order take-out with during the cold days of winter.  Whether or not you want to use actual handcuffs can be optional.
I do not want to scare you as there are some wonderful people here, you just have to take the chance to believe them.  
Cheers,
The Red Ferrari

Owner of Get the Soulmate and Dump the Rest
Author of Love in the 12th Dimension and Twinflames Reunite.

I myself have sent long overdrawn winded text messages and multiple small bubble messages responding to one small text.  You want to have the messages match his.  This creates a synced balance of energy and is more engaging and does not seem one chasing the other for a response.  Contact should be natural and effortless.  Once you start looking for his response, you will overthink and get your own fears getting in the way of someone trying to engage.  

There are hundreds of players and those using contact as a method to control or play a game.  That is another topic but one thing we all should agree, if the person you are contacting is interested in you, they will contact you with no hesitation if they want to see you.  If they don't contact you, they told you they don't.  So let them speak.

Dealing with no contact and being ghosted can be emotionally challenging, but there are strategies you can employ to conserve your emotional energy and move forward in a healthy way. Here are some tips to help you cope:

1. Accept your feelings: When someone suddenly stops responding or ghosts you, it can be a jarring experience. It's essential to recognize and accept the emotions that come with it. Instead of suppressing your feelings, allow yourself to process them. This might include feelings of rejection, sadness, or confusion. By acknowledging your emotions, you can begin the process of healing.
2. Set boundaries: No contact and being ghosted can leave you feeling vulnerable, but it's crucial to set boundaries for yourself. Understand that you don't need to chase after someone who isn't interested in maintaining communication with you. Determine how much emotional energy you are willing to invest in the situation, and be firm in sticking to those limits.
3. Avoid overthinking: When someone stops responding or disappears without explanation, it's natural to wonder why. However, overthinking and obsessing over the reasons can lead to increased stress and anxiety. Remember that their behavior is not a reflection of your worth. Sometimes, people have their reasons for disengaging, which may have nothing to do with you. Instead of dwelling on the unknown, focus on moving forward.
4. Limit social media exposure: In today's digital age, we often have access to people's lives through social media. When someone is not responding to your messages, it can be tempting to check their online activity for clues. However, this can exacerbate your emotional distress. Consider taking a break from their social media profiles to prevent further emotional strain.
5. Lean on support: During challenging times like these, it's essential to reach out to friends or family members for support. Talking to someone you trust can help you process your feelings and gain perspective. Venting your emotions to a supportive listener can be incredibly therapeutic.
6. Engage in activities that bring joy: Distract yourself from the situation by focusing on activities that make you happy. Whether it's pursuing a hobby, spending time with loved ones, or exploring new interests, engaging in positive activities can improve your mood and outlook on life.
7. Practice self-care: Taking care of your well-being is crucial during emotionally trying times. Ensure you get enough rest, eat nourishing foods, and exercise regularly. Consider incorporating relaxation techniques such as meditation or mindfulness exercises to reduce stress and promote emotional balance.
8. Redirect your thoughts: It's natural for thoughts of the person who ghosted you to pop up frequently. However, dwelling on these thoughts can hinder your healing process. Whenever you find yourself ruminating on the situation, redirect your thoughts to other aspects of your life. Engage in productive tasks or immerse yourself in activities that demand your focus.
9. Seek professional help if needed: If you find it difficult to cope with the emotions or if the impact on your daily life is significant, consider seeking support from a mental health professional. A therapist or counselor can help you navigate through your feelings and provide coping strategies to deal with the situation effectively.
10. Give yourself time to heal: Healing is a gradual process, and there is no set timeline for how long it should take. Be patient with yourself and allow yourself the space needed to recover emotionally. Don't rush into new relationships or situations until you feel ready to do so.

When faced with the emotional turmoil of being ghosted or experiencing no contact, it's easy to be hard on ourselves and let negativity consume our thoughts. However, in these challenging times, cultivating self-compassion and embracing personal growth are vital ingredients in the journey towards healing. In this blog, we'll explore how practicing self-compassion and embracing growth can help us navigate through the difficult emotions associated with no contact and ghosting, ultimately leading us to a place of renewed strength and resilience.
​

1. Be Kind to Yourself: Self-compassion is the practice of treating ourselves with the same understanding and kindness that we would offer to a dear friend in distress. When faced with rejection or unanswered messages, it's common to blame ourselves and dwell on our perceived shortcomings. Instead, choose self-compassion. Remind yourself that everyone experiences setbacks, and it's okay to feel hurt. Embrace the imperfections that make you human, and remember that you are deserving of love and respect.
2. Accept Emotions without Judgment: Healing involves a rollercoaster of emotions, and it's essential to allow yourself to feel them fully. Avoid suppressing or denying your feelings. Whether it's sadness, disappointment, or anger, acknowledge these emotions without judgment. They are valid and a natural part of the healing process. By accepting and processing your emotions, you create space for genuine healing and growth.
3. Focus on Personal Growth: Amidst the pain of being ghosted, seize the opportunity for personal growth. Use this time to reflect on your own needs, values, and aspirations. Engage in activities that nourish your soul and foster personal development. Take up new hobbies, explore different interests, or invest in learning something new. Embracing growth empowers you to shift your focus from the past to a brighter and more promising future.
4. Practice Mindfulness and Presence: Mindfulness is a powerful tool that can help you stay grounded and centered during times of emotional turbulence. Engage in mindfulness practices, such as meditation or deep breathing exercises, to cultivate a sense of calm and clarity. By being present in the moment, you can better navigate your feelings and reactions, allowing healing to take place more effectively.
5. Learn from the Experience: As painful as it may be, being ghosted or experiencing no contact can be a valuable learning experience. Take the opportunity to gain insights into your own emotions and behaviors. Are there any patterns in your relationships that you can address? What are the red flags to look out for in future connections? Learning from these experiences equips you with greater emotional intelligence and resilience for the road ahead.
6. Surround Yourself with Support: During times of healing, the support of loved ones can be a lifeline. Seek out friends, family members, or support groups who can offer a listening ear and a compassionate heart. Talking about your feelings can be cathartic and help you process emotions more effectively. Additionally, supportive relationships remind you that you are not alone and that you are cared for.

The journey of healing from no contact or ghosting can be challenging, but with self-compassion and a commitment to personal growth, you can emerge from this experience stronger and more resilient than ever before. Embrace the power of self-compassion, allowing yourself to heal without judgment. Embrace growth as an opportunity to discover new facets of yourself and build a brighter future. Remember, healing is not about erasing the pain, but about

​The Red Ferrari 
Author of 
Get the Soulmate and Dump the Rest
Love In The 12th Dimension
How To Manifest Your Soulmate
Rediscovering Abundance
Next Blog Post
​#DismissiveAvoidant #RelationshipInsights #EmotionalIntimacy #secureattachment #anxiousattachment #relationships

If you could go back and change one mistake, one decision, one answer, what would you do?  I know so much more now.  More about myself. More about you.  And more about what I could have done better.  This is the direction I must go now.   This is what I am to do.

We are so easily replaceable after all. 

And why do you believe you are the match for me?
What you seek is seeking you too....
I scroll through the profiles one by one looking for that spark of pulling me into you.  Your photos are handsome and charming.  You may have qualities that show character of heart and soul. The moment you send along a message, I savoir that moment of delicious intent.  To wonder if this will lead to more or another attempt to show me to keep looking through the profile in search of less contrast of who I am. 

No expectations, no worries of what the future holds in my way.  I get caught up in the fantasy of delight.  Does anyone really find their true love here when there is so many looking to forget the one who got away?  We all know what we don’t want.  Do any of us know what we really want if we never had it? 
 
We enjoy the song of the Escape Pina Colada song where the woman in the man''s life was invisible to him until he went searching looking for what he was missing in his life.  It was then that she showed up and found out that they never knew each other and was really what they were missing along.  

Be patient  Be real, Be authentic, Be cool too......no fakes please as we all can watch actors on TV. No longer trying to push a square peg in a round hole.
We all come to relationships with unresolved issues from our past, and we naturally look to our partners to make us feel good about ourselves. And so it's always a surprise when we finally think we've found love, only to experience pain and frustration.  The problem often isn't that we've chosen the wrong partner, it's that we're not looking at the root cause of our disenchantment. 

A relationship is one in which both people are free to be themselves, yet there is no shortage of intimacy. No fear that doing what you love or being who you are or taking time for yourself will drive the other person away.  In a relationship, neither person needs the other to complete them. Both people are awake to themselves, their feelings and thoughts, and are open to the flow of love and attention with one another.
​
It's about two equals celebrating together rather than needing something from the other.  A relationship  is one where both people are in harmony. And that's exactly what it feels like: in tune, relaxed, and just plain fun.

When was the last time you had that kind of love?

​The Red Ferrari 
Author of 
Get the Soulmate and Dump the Rest
Love In The 12th Dimension
How To Manifest Your Soulmate
Rediscovering Abundance
Next Blog Post
​#DismissiveAvoidant #RelationshipInsights #EmotionalIntimacy #secureattachment #anxiousattachment #relationships