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Do you ever get the sense that you have a dark side? Are there parts of you you’d rather keep hidden? Is your life exactly what you want it to be? Do you feel that you repeat the same old patterns year after year in your relationships, your finances and your career? Are you held back by feelings of insecurity or inadequacy? If the answer is yes, then very likely your subconscious programming is undermining you and sabotaging your life. The shadow is the part of our psyche that contains everything we were forced to reprimand and hide – our flaws, setbacks, and darkest secrets. The shadow also contains the suppressed needs and wishes, such as sexual wishes we never accepted we have. Shadow work is a way to release past demons, energies, and people from your life. Shadow work isn’t just about the spiritual side, either. Psychologists talk about how we live with our shadows all the time… it’s just that some of us are better at dealing with them than others.  Think about the times when you feel something bubbling inside of you, and you’re wondering why you’re so upset. You’re upset because there’s been a part of you that’s been hiding out for a long time… and wants to come out. It’s important to step back and reflect on these moments rather than taking them at face value and moving forward. A lot of times, we’ll hear about something or see it, automatically judge it, and shut it off, If you judge yourself, you distance yourself from yourself. Then, the analysis stops, and we move on with life. I encourage people to notice strong reactions and sit with that. If you feel like something is standing in the way of blocking you from manifesting, it could be that you need to do some shadow work. Shadow work can help clear your energy for manifesting and make more room in your life for happiness. Benefits of shadow work can include:
Does shadow work help with manifestation? The answer: Yes, but not in the way you think. Most people who get tied up with the idea of manifestation have usually have gotten it from what’s known as The Law of Attraction. Manifestation, or The Law of Attraction, is the idea that you will get whatever you put your focus, thoughts, and feelings into. It’s the belief that whatever you set your sights on and truly desire, will come into your life. So you surround yourself with pictures, quotes, and good vibes to get you closer Does shadow work help with manifestation? The answer: Yes, but not in the way you think. Most people who get tied up with the idea of manifestation have usually have gotten it from what’s known as The Law of Attraction.  From the deck Shadows That We Call Karma by Vicki Martin www.loveinthe12thdimensions.com Manifestation, or The Law of Attraction, is the idea that you will get whatever you put your focus, thoughts, and feelings into. It’s the belief that whatever you set your sights on and truly desire, will come into your life. So you surround yourself with pictures, quotes, and good vibes to get you closer to the things that you desire. Personally, I never found manifestation to work. And it’s not because I didn’t try. But I wasn’t getting closer to what I desired. Every day I would tell myself affirmations. My phone and laptop wallpapers would be images of things I wanted. For the longest time, I’d be a hopeful, But I wasn’t getting closer to what I desired. What they don’t tell you is that shadow work is actually Step Zero when it comes to The Law of Attraction. It’s a secret reason why people don’t get what they want and fail at manifesting. So you must do shadow work to go to step 1 on to manifestation. Because when you do, you are finally accepting and celebrating the fulfillment of your unconscious desires. And by doing this, your unconscious will let go of its celebrated desires, and shift its energies to help you achieve your own. Can shadow work be dangerous? Anyone can benefit from shadow work and that not doing it is actually more dangerous than doing it. There’s nothing about you that is unbearable. Whatever is inside of you, it’s already acting itself out. Looking at it makes it safer. Still, it’s recommended to have the support of a skilled therapist when you engage in shadow work. Some facts about shadow work taken from the Shadows Deck from my website: Since these shadows were created by us, we ultimately have karmic responsibility for them and all that they do. Our Shadows are trying to protect us so that we won’t get hurt again. A life on automatic pilot is usually a life controlled by the subconscious Shadows A surprising amount of our impulses comes as a result of influences from the spirit world and not all are beneficial OUR SUBCONSCIOUS rules 90% of our thinking and behavior. It is responsible for our habits, emotions, automatic reactions, defensive mechanisms Though suppressed memories held within the subconscious mind (even those from past lives) can be retrieved through such tools as hypnosis, meditation and certain hallucinogens, awareness alone does not completely resolve, heal or clear the energies surrounding these experiences. By rejecting aspects of your true self, you give those shadow parts power; hidden away, they challenge your more respectable traits, and will continue to influence and sabotage your behaviour. Unless you face and embrace them. Without the appropriate Shadows-Hygiene, our imprinted negative patterns bring us towards failures, disappointments and short-lived success. If you do not admit to yourself what kind of unwanted reactions you have, the disowned dark sides of your nature will turn into your Shadows, hiding in your subconscious. If an individual has an intact and healthy sense of self and a very strong energy field, they can walk away from this encounter unscathed. People who drink alcohol or take certain drugs may experience often having no recollection of what happened the next day, as if that memory was lost, but only suppressed within the closet of the subconscious. A man may reject or dissociate himself with his own feminine qualities (such as being loving, gentle, compassionate, feeling, nurturing) and in turn project them onto this outer woman. A woman may reject or dissociate herself from her masculine qualities and project them out onto a real or imagined outer man. Tricksters, as archetypal characters, appear in the myths of many different cultures what Jung called an archetype that represents the irrational, chaotic, and unpredictable side of human thought and behavior. To actually give your soul to another plants the seed of a dark contract to form, and over time be taken over by demonic control. By rejecting aspects of your true self, you give those shadow parts power; hidden away, they challenge your more respectable traits, and will continue to influence and sabotage your behavior. Unless you face and embrace them. Most people believe themselves to be essentially ‘good’ The theory of shadow work is that for every good trait we consciously attribute to ourselves, we have an opposite contrasting one which exists – but we repress. Shadow work is practiced through active imagination with daydreaming and meditation  Cheers,
The Red Ferrari
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 Is he a NARCISSIST or are you in a MISOGYNISTIC RELATIONSHIP? There is a difference. One is a personality disorder based on self absorbed behaviors and Second is a trauma based subconscious hatred for females. Narcissism generally includes an inflated sense of self-importance, preoccupation with fantasies of unlimited success or brilliance, and an excessive need for admiration. Narcissists typically do not recognize such feelings as abnormal but instead attribute all setbacks to external sources. If you notice that your husband/boyfriend frequently disrespects you, you may be in a misogynist relationship without realizing it. So, what does misogynistic mean? Research has described it as involving hatred, dislike, and prejudice toward women. If you are dating a misogynist, he may have an aversion toward women in general, meaning he wouldn’t respect them or value them as being equal to men. Being in a misogynistic relationship means an unbalanced power dynamic, in which your partner has all the control in the relationship, does not consider your opinion, and views you as being his inferior.  12 Signs of a Misogynistic Relationship When red flags show up, you should start looking for some signs of misogyny that you might’ve previously ignored. If you’re feeling disrespected and treated like you are not equal in your relationship, some of the following telltale signs may point to a misogynistic relationship: 1. He sees women in black and white terms A misogynist man cannot forgive flaws or mistakes in women because he simply dislikes women. Those seen as imperfect are immediately labeled as evil or “sluts.” If your man constantly talks about other women being horrible, or he finds fault with all of your friends, this is one of the signs of a misogynistic relationship. 2. He’s controlling Another one of the clear signs of a misogynistic man is that he is incredibly controlling in the relationship. Since misogynistic men don’t see women as having value, he thinks he can dictate things like how you dress, who you speak to, where you go, and what you do. He may even belittle you or make degrading comments to you to exert control and get you to do what he wants you to do. 3. He’ll blame you for everything When you’re dating a misogynistic person, you’ll notice that he blames you for everything. If he has a bad day or something doesn’t go his way, he’ll be quick to let you know that it’s your fault. Perhaps you didn’t do a good enough job cooking, which is why he didn’t meet his weight loss goal, or maybe his stocks didn’t do well this month because you were stressing him out, and he didn’t make good investments. Whatever it is, you’ll always be at fault 4.You say sorry constantly Another one of the obvious signs of a misogynistic man is that he ensures that you say sorry to him all the time. Since everything is always your fault, you’ll be the one to apologize, whereas he can never bring himself to say sorry. 5. He seems to have multiple personalities A man who demonstrates constant hatred for women probably isn’t going to get a woman to date him. This means that at times, and especially in the early stages of a relationship, even the most misogynistic of men will come across as sweet and charming. As the relationship progresses, it might seem like he has two personalities. When he is angry, his hatred for women may come out, so he may be incredibly volatile and cruel during arguments, only to seem like a different person after his anger subsides. 6. He treats men and women differently You might notice that your man is okay with being late for dates with you, or he may cancel plans with you, but he would never do that to one of his male friends. This is because he truly values the opinion of his friends, whereas he sees you as being less important. Treating men and women differently is one of the more significant signs of a misogynistic relationship, as it hints at an inherent assumption regarding one’s superiority over the other. 7. He’s sexually controlling It is clearly one of the signs of a misogynistic relationship if your man never wants to please you in bed and is only fixated on his own needs. He will be sexually controlling, demanding that you perform sexually for him whenever he asks, and he will only care about his preferences. 8. He’ll have no trouble cheating Remember, one of the characteristics of a misogynistic man relationship is his general dislike for women. This means that he doesn’t feel that he owes you any loyalty, and he will be more than willing to cheat if another woman catches his eye. One of the signs of a misogynistic relationship is that your partner may even think he is entitled to whatever woman he wants, even when he’s already dating you because he views himself as superior. 9. He doesn’t keep his promises to you If you’re in a misogynistic relationship, your man may routinely make promises to you but fail to follow through with them. He may promise a fancy vacation or make plans to take you out for your birthday, but then never make good on those plans. This is because he doesn’t see you as being worthy enough. He may even appear shocked when you are upset that he fails to follow through with promises. 10. He isn’t happy about your success He may become upset about the successes in your career or even suggest that you quit your job. If you’re successful in your job, especially if you make more money than he does, a misogynistic partner may become upset or even angry. In his mind, men are superior and should always be more successful than their female partners. He may even sabotage your career or suggest you stay at home and take care of the household instead of working. 11. You feel like his maid A man who views women as inferior is likely to expect his partner to care for him. This means you will be expected to cook, clean, and pick up after him. He views you as a servant since you don’t have much value beyond doing whatever he asks. It is one of the clear signs of a misogynistic relationship when you feel subservient to your partner and are expected to do everything for him. 12. The relationship may become violent A misogynistic man who truly hates women and views them as inferior may resort to physical violence. Because he doesn’t value women, he will see no problem in becoming violent if it helps him get his way. In many cases, signs of a misogynistic relationship stems from childhood trauma. For instance, your husband or partner may have been the victim of abuse from his mother, which may have led him to develop negative opinions of women. Working through any underlying trauma or childhood issues may help him overcome some of his prejudice against women. Eventually, you and your partner may consider going to couple’s counseling to learn about healthy communication and boundary setting. If these strategies do not work, or the relationship becomes violent, you may have to walk away to ensure safety for yourself. Remember, no one is deserving of emotional abuse, and you have a right to seek a relationship that is free from misogynist characteristics. You need to look at your happiness verses self-sacrifice. Cheers, The Red Ferrari Author of Get the Soulmate and Dump the Rest Love In The 12th Dimension How To Manifest Your Soulmate Rediscovering Abundance  |
AuthorVicki Martin (AKA The Red Ferrari) is the author behind Love in the 12th Dimension, How To Manifest a Soulmate and Get The Soulmate And Dump The Rest as well as Rediscovering Abundance: Healing the Inner Child to Resolve Relationship Insecurities, Subconscious Pain, and Poverty She is a makeup artist, esthetician accountant, subtle energy therapist, workshop facilitator, artist, stylist, relationship coach, and mother of 4.. Her work across multiple disciplines broadly addresses narratives of human experiences within and shared with others. If you want to read more similar articles, to find out more about the author or to schedule an online healing session, visit www.loveinthe12thdimension.com 
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